Top 10 Ways to Spot a Suspected Closet-Sinkie
(from The Official Sinkies Don't Cook Book)

10. Fidgety demeanor and rapid eye movement when entering a restaurant.

9. Habitually lifts milk container upward, hesitates, then hurriedly sets it back down.

8. Absent-minded fingertip licking.

7. Never zaps away from ketchup commercials.

6. Nervous laughter around flatware.

5. Says reflection in chrome faucet doesn't seem distorted.

4. Offers lame excuse about baby shower when bib discovered in dishtowel drawer.

3. Never forgets hyphens when spelling IN-SINK-ERATOR.

2. Only keeps strong and corrugated (never plain and brittle) potato chips on hand. And ... (drum roll):

1. Always last one to go to bed after Thanksgiving dinner.

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Standing In Nutritious Kitchens Ingesting Everything